Intimacy is More than Sex
If loving your partner is an intensely burning flame, then intimacy is the kindling that keeps the flame burning bright and hot.
Liking someone is the foundation of any relationship. Basing your relationship on love, warmth, affection, attentiveness, empathy, and acceptance, allows the relationship to become intimate. When couples like each other, the frequency with which they can communicate vulnerably (expressing both positive and negative thoughts and emotions) in an accepting and empathic way increases. Consequently, couples grow to know and care about each other on a deeper level which helps them to gain an accurate and complete understanding of each other. Relationships that operate on logistics and ignore the intimate components tend to be unfulfilling and/or short-lived.
Romantic love experiences peaks and valleys. Liking each other allows couples to enjoy having a friendship. That friendship allows them to share good times and common issues, which will maintain the romantic flame. Without friendship and romance, your relationship can become stale and monotonous. These couples tend to express unhappiness and boredom, which may lead to anger, resentment, and infidelity.
When we love someone, we try to please them and make them happy, sometimes to the detriment of ourselves. Intimacy allows couples to talk through and fix the issues that bother them, rather than excusing the issues.
It is common to become infatuated with gifts, actions, and sex, however, it is important to like the heart as well as the hand. Time and experiences will reveal a person’s character. Although kind gestures may fade, a person’s character will remain consistent. Also, when difficult times arise in a relationship, sex won’t be enough, and the absence of sex has been proven to be one of the primary causes of infidelity and separation. Sexual interest will likely fade without an intimate relationship outside of the bedroom. This is why learning your partner’s character is a foundational necessity in a relationship.
Oftentimes, couples focus on love as the relationship goal. While love is essential, it alone is not enough to maintain a long-lasting, enjoyable relationship. Couples should work to like each other daily. That means that couples must be respectful, compassionate, accepting, and empathic towards each other. Not only must couples listen to each other and connect emotionally, but couples must also remain active participants in their relationships, instead of becoming active bystanders. To increase intimacy and continue to like each other, couples should learn each other’s love languages and implement them. Do unto your partner what they want to have done to them.
