Supporting Your Partner Through Depression
4 minute read
Introduction
Depression is a mood disorder that affects a person’s thoughts, emotions, and behavior. It is a serious but common disorder, yet most people are unfamiliar with the signs and symptoms. It is extremely difficult to understand how to be supportive to a loved one who is suffering with depression. You are most likely feeling helpless. Here are some essential tips to help you support your partner through depression.
Understand that Depression is Real, and it is a Disorder
Depression is much more than feeling sad for a little while because something bad has happened. It is a mental health disorder, and the first step to helping your loved one is to understand the disorder itself. Familiarize yourself with signs and symptoms so you can recognize them in your partner. Your partner may not be able to verbalize his/her thoughts and feelings, so it may seem that he/she is pushing you away. It is important for you to understand that you are not the problem; therefore, you cannot be the solution. Share your findings with your partner; let him/her know that you are in it with them. Help them to feel less alone.
Be Understanding
Be sure to offer your support and do not judge. Your partner is not processing his/her thoughts and feelings as usual, so they may not respond to reasoning. At the moment, he or she is having a hard time controlling emotions and expressing feelings clearly. A great way to express understanding is by eliminating additional stressors and creating a calm environment. Focus on small goals and highlight even the smallest successes.
Do Not Give Advice
It is our natural instinct to give advice to those we care about. In this instance, advice can be seen negatively by your depressed partner. From his/her perspective, you cannot possibly understand if you have never experienced clinical depression yourself. Instead, encourage your partner. Encourage him/her to seek therapy and use positive coping strategies like meditating, deep breathing, listening to music, and exercising. It may also be great for you to do some of those things with your partner.
Take Care of Yourself
You cannot support others while suffering yourself. Caring for a depressed partner can be mentally and emotionally draining. Remember to take some personal time to do things you enjoy, talk to a friend, and even seek therapy for yourself. Always communicate and be honest about your feelings, without blaming them on your partner.
Know and Recognize Signs of Suicidal Thoughts
Mentioning wanting to die
Expressing hopelessness or lack of purpose
Saying, “I don’t want to be here” or “Things would be better if I wasn't here.”
Seeking ways to commit suicide
Extreme mood swings (anger, irritability, anxiousness, recklessness)
Irregular sleeping patterns
Increased use of drugs and/or alcohol
*If you or someone you know is in crisis, call the Lifeline at 988 or text SIGNS to 741741 for free crisis counseling. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 911.
Depression is a mental health disorder that has no specific time limit; however, your loved one can be supported through love, therapy, and medication.
There is hope!
Sources: Warning Signs of Suicide- www.save.org
How to Help a Depressed Spouse- https://www.tonyrobbins.com/mental-health/how-to-help-depressed-spouse/
UMPC HealthBeat- umpc.com
